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Showing posts with the label Anxiety

Lockdown Encounters: Day Infinity

Nothing like a few days of sunlight, water, and 9 hours of sleep to heal your soul. I feel brand new again. Scheduled some stuff, made some phone calls, getting things done. Up and down and around we go! Life! I saw a movie by myself yesterday. I’ll do this every now and then. Like its obvious because of Lockdown in Delhi saw a cheesy flick called “A Time to Dance” at 6:30pm. Late Night I went to a close by eatery for the usual Junk Food takeaway. I just needed my junk food and to be gone. After an awkward minute of them finally getting my order and me whipping out my card and entering the chip into the fucking thing I said, “thanks man” fake smiling as best I could and then walked away.  Sometimes I do act like this (Like All The Time) and I don't even know why. I probably don't have the Energy to talk to them, Other reasons might be because of this City Life, Skylines, Radiations Wi-fi and most probably Other People in General. Also being born with Anxiety Issues cater to tha

Lockdown #5: Self-Control

do you guys ever try not to do something, its tricky isn't it "Self-Control - A Stigma". I guess if we all had perfect Self-Control we would be these movie gods and rockstars but that is the thing we are not and to most of the extent that is fine. The point still remains the same why can't we control ourselves, Ironically the movie "Fight Club" (oh, yes i am movie nerd) is not about Physical Fighting it is about what you want ti choose a Chick or a Broccoli, Reading a Book or Reality TV. It showed us that the Self-Control is the epitome to ultimate spirituality we face everyday. Like Meditation is Free, Fasting is Free, Showing Gratitude for things is Free, Spirituality is Free but Consumerism isn't Free. It is a Trap actually Consumerism is the exact opposite. It contains Strong animalistic desires Sex, Sugar, Porn and Junk Food of any kind and We can actually escape this trap of Consumerism and Ego. WE CAN BECOME FREE, if we only just try... LOSIN

Lockdown #3: Finding the Passion

It’s gonna take me a while to get back in the swing of things, but it is good to be writing again. Somewhere along the way, I stopped doing those things I am the most passionate about. I am not certain when or why that happened. I only know that it has been an extended period of time since I have done those things I used to be the most passionate about, writing, making beats and serious photography. The simple explanation could be that I got bored with it all. That may still be true but I think perhaps that it is more than that. I seem to have forgotten that there is a big difference between simply existing and actually living. If I am going to find my passions again, I need to start exploring more avenues in life. I need to find out what does excite me about living again. I may choose the wrong paths along the way, but that is what learning to live again is all about. Where the heck do I start? Is there a magic secret to it all? One thing I do know about myself is that when I do

Lockdown #1: Frugality

All my lights are off. Besides my glowing Laptop, it’s nearly pitch black in my humble bedroom. I’m wearing this Bloodshot Tee that I bought in Mumbai. I like this t-shirt because it makes me look like I'm a fan of comic series but seriously telling you that it's a lie I'm a fan of Jason David Frank that's why I wear it. Man, Quarantine is hard, just when i thought that my venture was going good, Coronavirus came for it hard and pushed it further but still here Alive and Kicking I'm that mechanic trucker boy from the wrong side of the tracks. My nose and hands are still cold though. It’s much quieter in my Area. I actually like it, for once people are following the Lockdown which is a good thing, and this silence living far away from any busy streets. hmm, Good. Saving the Money and living with Frugality is the new cool now. I’m awake and the world might be asleep now at 12:40 am. It’s so quiet that I can hear the ringing in my ears. It reminds me of all the havo

Social Lubrication and Anger Management

Social lubricant. It’s not possible to have an awkward moment when you're with me, not even after this ultimate question. “Like what the fuck is going on!?” a straight depressive face at a Clubbing Event in Colaba, Mumbai. duderino ! can't stop it. I was born with it. obviously the sane one understood it the second I told them but some people just like to be a little judgy but can't do anything to stop them too. One of my most endearing traits is that I think to an ultimate extent. I mean if you're with me you'll always see my weird fingers doing something, yeah, its that Anxious Lubrication happening to my body at all times. About Anger Management: I realize that anger is a natural emotion that we can’t always control feeling but we certainly have the power to choose how we are going to respond to that anger. If we scream, holler, stomp our feet and throw a good old fashioned temper tantrum what are we gonna solve besides dragging everyone else down with us?

Answers to The 10 things You Can Ask Me

1.    What was his first name in 1998 ? Answer: It's actually very comedic that my Birth Name was "Nekchand" Gupta later on my parents changed it and thanks to god that they did now my name is Prateek Gupta. 2.    Who is Deeksha Diwan ? Answer:  She is basically my guardian angel since June of 2018, the only lifeline I have left in the artistic world my lovely editor/business manager/content corporate/deal cracker/excellent idea pitcher to be honest I cannot imagine my work life without her. 3.    How much work has he done on his novel this week ? Answer: Not much, but I constantly do my morning pages. I have 2 WIP's and wrote for 3 clients this week. so, I am proud of myself.    4.   What is the other career Prateek had before Freelance Content Writing ? Answer:  I was a customer service executive for a bit, then joined a theater group as a playwright but left it because as my parents would suggest "it was coming in the way of my st

Accountability

"Hey" it is needless to say this word here, I bet no one expects posts from a person who prefer daydreams over reality. So, actually there is nothing new with me I've been Avoiding boredom and Avoiding accountability. How did I get here? Everything hurts. My mind is foggy as hell. I hate everyone and everything. I need to bite my tongue and save face as best I can. Avoid people. Next Month I'm off to Mumbai for a few days Drinking lots of water because the trainer said so also I don't want myself to be turning into a Junk Food eating werewolf. I cleaned my room. Sweating and with drawling and hating myself. Shame and guilt flooding my thoughts. I should finally write that final excerpt for my client Will I ever learn? something is wrong with me. My place is clean now. I still feel stable. I’m gonna read now until I fall asleep. Keep chugging back some water. It’ll be about a week or so before I feel good again. That’s what I get. Atoning for my sins. 

Key

Bad Dreams i don't know how to get them out of my head, my 15 year old self didn't wanted me to be a Writer, he must've thought it would be a hard life pay is not going to be good and you can't always come up with good stuff but now at the age of 21 I think I'm ballin even though i have less fortune but still it opened a great variety of branches for me and everybody knows that every career is hard in one form or other and if you find that one thing which you Love it than you just Love It. Getting into  what i love about writing  so much ??? is simple first and foremost i get to be free, i get to see people and change their character to anything i want. I wake up every morning with this same motto: Another day another story to tell life is running its course let the chips fall wherever they may. Writing taught me that life is a movie only time will tell what is going to happen next don't live in the past be here now don't worry about the future just get exc

The Comeback

Since the dawn of the recorded human history, something like 115 billion people have been born into this world, And not a single of them Made it except the two men who invented Soft Drinks and Telescope(because i love both of these things). There are approximately 7.4 billion people on this Earth right now and around 65 million people die every year. there is this quote i read once in a book: "We live alone, We die alone and Everything around us is just an Illusion" the above quote still keep me up at night thinking if We all die alone, Why am i supposed to spend my life Working, Sweating and Struggling ? just to create an illusion. Because no amount of friends, no Girl, no college assignments about writing journalized reports or finding an answer of a physics numerical going to do anything for me to avoid my fate. I think i have better things to do with my time and three of my friends agreed with me on this. END (but we never really capitalized on any of this) Oh I Fo

What's Up

What's up!? Prateek here... Nothing is really new with i've been writing poetry, short stories and what not i started my day with sticking onto my No Caffeine routine which is good and i feel proud of myself for doing that than i went to college took the classes and came home on usual time like most of the days. At home after scrolling through my social media feed and getting bored of writing i spent better half of my evening watching a movie (movie: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) Starring Brad Pitt a fantasy drama total work of fiction story of a man who starts aging backwards with bizarre consequences. which was really great the Art of Storytelling at its best through the cinematic medium. If you haven't watched it, Go Watch it and feel the emotions which'll definitely takeover your mind for a bit. If you really want to Live your dream life make the sacrifices now and follow your plan. Thanks For Reading Prateek Gupta 10:52PM Delhi, India

Unnatural

What's up ? Prateek here... Nothing's new with me i am back again after a 5 day break, by the way i wasn't on a break in my other ventures they're all running at their own pace. I've been guest writing for my fellow web developer friends, but i don't know it feels unnatural to me like if i work for someone else even if they pay me good enough, its just don't feel right to sell my ideas to them. I guess there are always some disadvantages of your passion, i like writing aimlessly as you all know lot of my stuff doesn't even make sense but  i just wanna write, i like it too much. I've also been reading stack of books these days, it is allowing me to gather my thoughts again. Haha that's about it ! Change Something Thanks For Reading Prateek Gupta 11:38 PM Delhi, India

Lazy Simulation

2018 is driving me crazy, i am staring at my laptop screen for straight 40 minutes now and still there is no hint of inspiration which i am hoping to come out, i guess writing my journal makes me happy, you know getting that frustration out which came into existence because of not working for the past 4 days. I mean seriously, The Last String of holidays turned my work ethic into lazy excuses and some idiotic justifications. By the way college started so, a little hope of new Contentment is born even though i am still in that pain of going to college after a lengthy winter break but No Matter how i feel, i should get up, dress up, show up and Never Give Up ! in terms of work i think i need to: Keep Up With The Pace Again Just In Case All The Magic Dies. Thanks For Reading Prateek Gupta 12:02 AM Delhi, India. -------

Christmas

I recorded myself on a camera for the first time in a while, everyone here will now think how is that a big deal now ??? trust me, its a big deal for me, Anxious folks will understand that better. I watched it afterwards and i fell asleep because of my voice tone but my friendly therapist said "its a good progress, atleast you did a little effort this time around to work on your introverted attitude" I laughed during the whole conversation with him that video is really funny to me who knows ??? maybe i'll put it on Youtube. Anyway its the season of joy "Its Christmas Time" on December 24th , i went out and had a great time, Energy Drinks, Fizzy Beverages were absolutely amazing and The cafe where we had food was incredible, Overall an evening of giddy fun. Just so to let you all know that I am writing this post in a Car and my buddies are playing loud music right now because we're stuck in the middle of highway with this massive gurugram traffic jam. MERR

dumb encounters

That moment where you think you're making a clever decision but in reality that is actually an embarrassing moment building itself to hit you back in the future. Haha, not funny its story of my life and most of the people can relate to it pretty accurately - So, i think everyone knows those smarty pants people who're not actually the clever person in real, this one guy in my college said to me "Hey, you should join the dumb guys club !" a total a**hole move, at the very same moment his girlfriend came into the picture and she said to him "OH !!! the club you started !!!" Everyone laughed so hard  at him including me... they instantly got into a verbal fight in front of the whole lobby filled with our college mates... now, this is a supreme example of dumb things you start with people  just because someone isn't interested in supporting your total douche baggery at the college. I just want to say that You Only Live Once, Go For It !!! (It here means GOAL

Drugs

Today i am going to talk about something really serious. So, if you do not know me and you want to make a opinion about me regarding my writings and work than its perfectly fine.... and please for the last time i am telling that i am not on drugs !!! I don't do drugs.... ofcourse i have a informative knowledge about drugs but seriously i have never done drugs except medicinal or prescribed drugs. I am totally against the DRUGS it ruins every part of your life....<done>. and one more thing I am going to binge watch EXTINCT the whole season in one night last time it was pretty fun !!!! and believe me its better than GAME OF THRONES !.!.!.!.! Check It Out on: byutv.org/EXTINCT Thanks For Reading Prateek Gupta 11:13 PM Delhi,India

Anger

I never had much issues with ANGER in the past because at every point of my life there were people(they still are) who bullied me because of my dark skin tone but whenever there was a need to prove myself right, I have tried my best to follow the problem and have taken the actions according to it.... Lessons learned They use to hate me but now I am dealing with the foreign clients, now today looking back at all the incidents happened with me in the past lead me to this conclusion: "ANGER isn't my thing I just cannot be Angry at someone who just doesn't like me or my work that's totally their opinion in the end their is nothing to whine about or to complain about" Success requires sacrifices and suffering You gotta want it !!! DEUCES !.!.!.! Thanks For Reading Prateek Gupta 12:02 AM Delhi, India

Scrolling

I had a plan ready for today... Saturdays are for the boys !!! so, me and one of my friend/teammate went to watch "VALERIAN and the City of Thousand Planets" i must say it was a mediocre in terms of the typical futuristic fantasy thriller concept, but the visual effects were totally PHENOMENAL. Overall we had a good experience today, checkout the detailed review of VALERIAN on TheVitalClash.com   right now. After this whole movie the day was Boring didn't had much to do.... same, scrolling through my Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter. I Looked into some articles about Self-Control which helped me to take a break from Fizzy Drinks and Junk Food.!.!.! Sit Chill Laugh and Get Back to Work Thanks For Reading Prateek Gupta 1:33 am Delhi, India

Blank

Its been 25 Minutes now.. I am blank ! I am suppose to be writing a play script for an Independent Media Agency but i am not working. what am i doing ??? Scrolling my Instagram and twitter to find some inspiration ... Blitzed out of my mind but no f'ing idea how to conclude the dialogues in this script. I am listening to anxiety relieving  music and compiling this post which somehow makes me happy(aka atleast i did something) Witgods aren't with me today seriously, No idea on how to finish this incompleted script... on the other hand these instagram memes are making me laugh !.!.! Sixty Three Problems - Zero Solution Thanks For Reading Prateek Gupta 1:32 am Delhi, India