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Showing posts with the label Avoiding

Voices

From the past two months after my exams and that one of a kind internship I was really having some trouble with my sleeping, Insomnia hits every night and the best thing in the world i.e "Music" isn't helping me with my sleep, because of this particular reason I started using sleeping apps which lead me to ASMRs (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) where I have now learnt a lot about the Voices within which I'm going to elaborate below:

* Voice of Hope 

The voice of hope still believes in fairy tales and happily ever after. It is often quickly smothered by the voice of reason, and ridiculed by the voice of darkness and doubt. But somehow, no matter what happens in life, this voice continues to survive.Yes, sometimes the light dims to barely a spark, but something keeps it alive, keeps it believing.


* Voice of Darkness and Doubt

The voice of darkness and doubt often believes that it is the voice of reason, that it is simply knocking some sense into me, forcing me to …

Accountability

"Hey" it is needless to say this word here, I bet no one expects posts from a person who prefer daydreams over reality. So, actually there is nothing new with me I've been Avoiding boredom and Avoiding accountability. How did I get here? Everything hurts. My mind is foggy as hell. I hate everyone and everything. I need to bite my tongue and save face as best I can. Avoid people.
Next Month I'm off to Mumbai for a few days Drinking lots of water because the trainer said so also I don't want myself to be turning into a Junk Food eating werewolf.
I cleaned my room. Sweating and with drawling and hating myself. Shame and guilt flooding my thoughts. I should finally write that final excerpt for my client Will I ever learn? something is wrong with me. My place is clean now. I still feel stable. I’m gonna read now until I fall asleep. Keep chugging back some water. It’ll be about a week or so before I feel good again. That’s what I get. Atoning for my sins. 
I still re…

super cheat week

The longer you go without working out, the more muscle mass you loose, the more weight you gain, the less likely you’ll start working out again. Same goes with posting journals the longer you go without posting the more anxious you get about actually posting one, the less likely you’ll start posting again. It’s like living in a world full of everything and nothing.

So, my day started and i randomly decided that this whole week will be a super cheat week and is going to be filled with Fizzy Beverages, Beer, Burger King, and all the other poisonous things you can think of. Complete Freaking Freedom.

About Writing my manuscripts are almost at final stages and more on this subject is coming later, but once in a blue moon I always have a day like this where I seem to get my life in order in merely a few hours. I always think that this might transfer over to tomorrow but it rarely does. Right back to latency; it is perplexing.

I promise that i will achieve all these things one day: Structu…

Elections

I don't believe none of the leaders the media is mentioning today everybody is crying and calling out each other for attention they don't care about the people or the country they actually only care about if their political party is in power or their pockets are filled with more election funds.so lets see what are they actually standing up for also I am not gonna mention them by their names:

1. The One: 

'A Narcissist can't die because then the Entire world would end' this sentence describes our Current Prime Minister really well in my opinion he cannot answer one single question in a proper debate and yet he wants movies to be made on him. 5 years back when he came in power and made a lot of promises and by saying A Lot i really mean "A LOT". The Bias Pre-Electoral Polls are rooting for him, Bias Media is rooting for him wherever he goes all he talks about is the failures of Governments before 2014 but not a single word about the promises he made to the …

The Constant Battle

monologue 63
Inner Voice: You better complete all these assignments before the Diwali week !!

Me: I'll do it in the night.

Inner Voice: Okay ! I believe you.

7 hours later

Inner Voice: So, its 11 PM now where your assignment at ?

Me: Shut up ! you are such a pain in the tush aren't you ? Stop bugging me !

Inner Voice: Hey ! language...  It's your goal not mine.

Me: Okay, I will do it ! after finishing my night pages.

Inner Voice: Well I haven't recorded any night pages work from you in Weeks. Which pages are you talking about ???

Me: Oh ! let's talk about that... You haven’t been around for Months and now you're back at it again Interfering and stuff ??

Inner Voice: I’m always here. You just don’t always hear me.

Me: just go away !.!.!

in the morning

Inner Voice: Where are you headed ?

Me: Yo, you're back i finished 3 of the assignments last night. You Happy Now ???
'
Inner Voice: Just 3 your goal was to do all of them. answer my question first: Where are you headed ?

M…

Avoiding

There are some things and phases in life which you want to avoid and ignore as much as possible but because of that you think about those specific things too much and that hits you. After August 16th of this month my habit of procrastinating came to an end and i finally finished my manuscript and the web series which i was writing for well actually assisting someone in writing but its all good i'll get the credits the money never really mattered to me anyway.

Coming to Avoiding the things during the Last Weekend a psychiatrist diagnosed me with Minor Effects of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD) so, now i am a 'Little Bit of OCD'. I'll be honest i was avoiding the symptoms of it for a longtime whether it was during the convos with some people or getting into the little details of not so important things. I was out for some phonography today and i didn't know why i felt so unnatural and forced while i was taking pictures nothing turned out good enough to post on In…